Hi Tim,

Looking at your question, I suppose, you are talking about a negative experience you had in the past, like a trauma, a negative event or a negative person. Or perhaps you just desire to forget someone or had a nice situation you lost and realize, it is better for you to forget about this trauma or experience, and leave it in the past. Just to start new and fresh.

One way or another you desire to take control of your Thoughts and Memory, to forget and to erase something from your memory. But you can’t. It keeps returning constantly from your subconscious memory into your conscious thoughts and Awareness again.

The first step. You have to realize in the big lines, how your brain works. How do we learn and remember in our life? In a simple way explained. Everything you think or sense, see, hear, smell, taste or feel, becomes your thoughts. The thoughts you focus on with or without emotion or choose to repeat many times, are connected by synapses in your brain unto your perspective, your belief system or called memory. All our thoughts we gather in our human life experience are stored in our subconscious memory. The synapses connect the thoughts with each other. And only by “triggers”, we can bring subconscious thoughts from our memory into our consciousness, to remember them, or to use these thoughts in life. When we do not place thoughts in our subconscious memory, than we would remember everything at the same moment in life, what is of course, not workable. So, we pick from the subconscious memory by triggers the thoughts we like to have, use or act on aware or unaware in life. Let us explain this by some simple examples.

Examples.
When you feel in your stomach a feeling of hunger, then the synapse that connected this thought of feeling hungry in your stomach, with the thought, food. The thought food is connected by synapses to other thoughts, for babies a mother, a breast, a nipple, for us a sandwich, hamburger, bread, dinner, etc. The hunger inside yourself is a thought, and triggers the synapse to show the connected subconscious thoughts from your memory, into your conscious Awareness. To remember, So you know, what options you have to choose from.

When I say France? What do you think about? This Word France, triggers by the synapses all other subconscious thoughts, which are connected and stored in your subconscious memory. In my synapses, subconscious thoughts from my memory, light up in my conscious Awareness as conscious thoughts, such as, Paris, Eiffel tower, Louvre, or even a friend called Francis. Remembering is just by a trigger of, a thought, word, picture, event, smell, sound, taste, emotion or feeling, to bring with this trigger, connected subconscious thoughts by synapses into your conscious Awareness, in your present thoughts.

When I say a word, you do not know? What happens then? Then no thoughts light up into your consciousness, Except the connected subconscious thoughts you have learned; I don't know this word, No idea, what did you say, or other reactions of thoughts. You have taught yourself or were taught by others by repetition or focusing on thoughts with emotion. Every single thought as word, picture, sound, smell, taste or feeling for example is connected by synapses to other single thoughts, so this is a very complex process. Still, you need only to know, how it in basics works. Why? Because, when you know how you learn or can remember something in life, you shall also know how you can forget in life.

The easiest way to forget something from your subconscious memory, is Not to repeat a thought or thoughts you like to forget again, and Not to focus on these thoughts again with or without emotion. What means, when synapses which connect specific subconscious thoughts are not used over a longer period, the synapse automatic disconnects subconscious thoughts from each other. In other words you forget and are no longer able to trigger specific subconscious thoughts into your conscious awareness. Still, the subconscious thoughts exist, but are not connected by synapses any more.

By Hypnosis for example, you are able to Observe more or less unconsciously specific subconscious thoughts in your memory and to create a new synapse to connect these subconscious thoughts and pull them back into your conscious awareness, to remember them again. Or by Hypnosis it is possible to reconnect synapses to other thoughts. Like a lemon taste as sweet as an orange, for example. Most of you have seen this example. This is how hypnosis in these aspects works and also confirms this explanation, to be correct.

As long, you trigger a negative thought from your past, by what you sense, see, hear, taste, smell or feel, the synapse brings the subconscious memory into your Awareness. You are Not able to avoid these triggers. What most people try to do to forget something. When they lost a partner in life as a trauma, they try not to go to the same restaurants, not to listen to the same music as they did with their partner, not to see the same people who were around in the good times with their partner, not to experience the same things as they did with the partner, or other similar things they experienced with their partner who died. Because, it all triggers the bad or good experiences into the consciousness of this person. These experiences are causing the so called “Back pack in life”. Man experiences negative things with their partners or siblings in the past for example. And take the negative experience with them through life. Then with a new partner or friends, by triggers, which activate the synapses, shall reveal past subconscious mostly negative experiences of memory into their conscious thoughts. Then Man can treat other people more subjective and more negative, as they should treat them.

Leaving trauma, someone or something in the past, can only be done on One Good Way and it is not as difficult as Man thinks this is. It can be done quite quickly and safely.

It has all to do with the Real Purpose of human life. To evolve in your human life. All negative persons or negative situations in your life, are called Lessons of Life. To experience the Lessons of Life and to handle them with positivity, love and honesty. To place a negative situation of the past, into a positive, good and honest context. Only then, you are able to leave this experience in the past.

When we do this, then we transform negative thoughts about this trauma or experience with something or someone, into a Right, Positive, Loving, Honest and Realistic Context. Literally, we transform all negative thoughts we have formulated around this Trauma into positive, loving and harmonious thoughts. To process a trauma means to evolve above the Trauma or experience you had. Then you are able to leave this trauma or negative experience with someone or something in your past. When triggers bring these positive and loving subconscious thoughts around this Trauma into your conscious Awareness, you still feel in balance, in Harmony, Good and Happy. Really? Really. How does this work in practice, in simple words, so we all can see and understand clearly this process.

Below we give an example and you are able to transform this example into a guidance to dissolve your trauma or experience. Besides this you can learn to process these negative experiences in your life and leave them in the past. You can change just the issues given below, into your own issues and try to complete the text for yourself.

Example.
A woman was misused, raped, beaten badly and treated badly for years by her dominant husband in the past. After years of struggle, she finally found the courage to leave him with help of her family, and started over somewhere else again. She found another man, but every time, when he raises his hand to get something or to wave to someone, she gets terrified. Every time he tries to get intimate or intensively hug her, she freezes, and don't want to proceed and leaves. The man is very patient, even when he just says something like, ”could you give me that”, she already becomes frightened, and leaves. When he just gets a little annoyed by her constant negative reactions and raises his voice a little, she explodes and gets very upset and angry with him, and then becomes anxious and leaves.

If you have paid attention in the previous explanation of this article, you know exactly what is happening with the woman. Try for yourself to explain the reason for yourself, why she reacts this way. What happens with her in her thoughts and the triggers?

Yes, all little things the man does, triggers the subconscious thoughts of past experiences which appear automatically in her conscious Awareness and she reacts accordingly and Impulsively on her subconscious thoughts. To raise an arm is connected to beating, fear and to get away. To say words or something in a slightly dominant voice, triggers her impulsive reactions, as a feeling that she shall get a beating, suffering, oppression and becomes fearful and reacts to get away. To try to hug or to be intimate with her, triggers instant fears of rape, beating, misusing of past experiences and she impulsively freezes or tries to get away. To raise voice, is connected to beating and fears also, etc.

Where do we have to dissolve the problem? To say to the man, don't do this or don't say that? Of course, not. To say to her, you have to forget the past experiences, don't think about the experiences any more and over time it shall wear off, is a possibility. But it shall take years and years to forget and perhaps it stays with her all her life. Before the synapses shall disconnect the negative subconscious thoughts from her perspective and memory of the woman, by regular experiencing and seeing something else in her life. Possible yes, but not recommendable, because she shall suffer for a very long time with a new partner, if he chooses to stay around.

We know this problem can only be dissolved in the thoughts of the woman, Right? In the mind of the woman, she is still partly in the relationship with her ex. She lives partly in the past and not completely in the present. However in life she has moved out of the bad relationship into a new and good relationship. She needs to convince her mind, by rearranging her synapses to the right, loving, honest and good thoughts about the bad experiences in the past with her ex. To be able to process her thoughts in the right way, to be able to let these negative experiences go, and without reacting by triggers impulsively on irrational and incorrect subconscious thoughts. Which are still for her, as real as life.

In our human life, we can choose in the present time which conscious thoughts we like to formulated. I go there, I stay here, I do this or that, I think this or that, etc.

When we see someone throwing a ball towards our head. Then this thought we see, triggers our synapses, to act on subconscious thoughts of our memory, on which we impulsively react. To duck, or to catch the ball, etc. When the woman sees a hand raising, she reacts impulsively on subconscious thoughts such as fear or try to get away. She is not using conscious thoughts, but reacts impulsively on triggered subconscious thoughts.

What means she is able with control of her conscious thoughts in the present, to overrule and reprogram her learned subconscious thoughts and created synapses of the past, on which she acts in this example impulsively. How can we do this? By understanding this knowledge and wisdom and use it in a direct way. When the man does something that triggers, her impulsive response, then she and the man should realize, what happens in her brain. When He raises his arm for example, and she feels to act impulsively. Both have to calm down, and she has to formulate conscious thoughts, that he raises his arm to wave, to grab something, or other. And repeat this over and over again possible added with loving emotions. To see the arm go up and fold softly around her and comfort her.

When the man in a test, does it again and again, and she repeats the loving conscious positive thoughts over and over again, what is really happening in the present time. So, she reconnects the synapses to other positive, loving and kind thoughts. To dissolve this problem from her life. Then she works on the next issue and next, until the subconscious thoughts are all reprogrammed to this present moment she is living now. She has to learn to think, before she acts impulsively. Do you see that it is not difficult, just very different?

It takes effort, which Man sadly are not often willing to do, but the result is impressive and very effective, and you can erase in a very fast pace all impulsive negative behaviors. Just by being aware what is going on in your and others thoughts.

This is the same way to erase ALL, Fears, Worries, Jealousy, Irritations, Frustrations, Anger, Disappointments, Sorrows, Despair, Depressions and all other Negative Emotions, bad and sad feelings we have in life. Why would someone like to erase all Negative emotions, bad and sad feelings from their lives? Let me, think. Perhaps to feel Happy and Good all the time, no matter what? Think about this for a moment and let it really sink in.

To help this Woman, we have to explain all of these things and to discuss with her what happened in her life. By bringing first a past happening into an honest and realistic experience, to see what really happened in the past and to evolve above the situation. I don't try to be complete in this answer. I just like to show you, how you can change your subconscious thoughts and synapses in a practical and very easy way, leading to much faster results. Just work with it, try it and see for yourself the positive effects of this method. We sit down with the woman and talk with her and give her advise. Here we go.

1. First she has to accept that this bad experience with her ex-husband happened. To answer the question, did you experience a husband who treated your badly? Yes.

2. Do you desire to leave this bad experience in the past, to be open and free to have a new relationship, without subjectivity of the past influencing your present life? Yes.

3. Then ask her, to write a list, in short sentences what bad things in the Big lines her ex-husband did to her, Not in the details. (Otherwise she gets lost in the past again.)

Such as; he beat me, he raped me, he oppressed me, he let me not go out the door, he abused me, I had to do everything he said, I was not allowed to see friends or family, etc.

4. Then she should answer these questions? Do you think the listed bad things your ex-husband did to you, where HIS mistakes? Yes. In this severe case, you can rule out the mistakes of the woman, because the ex husband crossed a line of “normal” behavior.

(In some cases she could say, no, it was also my mistake. Because, she has convinced herself by synapses in her brain, by what the ex-husband told her over and over again, that she created the mistakes of her ex. She believes wrongly by false negative subconscious thoughts, that she was part of the cause. What explains this answer to the extreme mistakes the ex-husband made in their relationship. This should be made very clear to her and be discussed. To really make a difference between the mistakes of the ex, led to these problems. And that she did Not created the aware or unaware bad choices of the ex-husband.)

Are you able to see that the things your ex did wrong are his unaware or aware Mistakes and Bad choices of him? Yes. He shouldn't have treated you this way? Do you agree? Yes, I agree. Your ex-husband has not learned very well in life, did he? No, he did not.

Do you agree that he acted Not as a responsible grown up adult, who respects others and should support and love others? Yes.

Do you think, you desire to be loved, receive respect and be supported in your life to become happy? Yes, of course.

When your ex-husband did Not make ANY of these bad mistakes in your relationship, would you still have loved him in your past relationship. Yes, I would.

What he did to you shall always be the bad choices of him, and are you able to see him as an equal person, who just chose very wrong thoughts in his life aware or unaware? Yes, I can see that.

Do you hate your ex-husband? Yes, I do. Do you think that you hating him or being still mad or afraid for him, helps you in your life? No. As long you keep on hating him, being mad on him or afraid of him, do you understand that you keep this connection alive in your thoughts? No, I don't. Only by letting go of this connection you are able to move on. How can you let go of this connection? By love and forgiveness for the person you once loved, Still you absolutely disapprove of the Bad actions, what he did to you in your life. To understand he just made very wrong and bad decisions in his life. Your ex husband needs a lot of help from other people. Do you agree? Yes, I agree.

Can you accept he is a person lost in life, still equal to everyone, and Just Made Very Wrong Choices in his life? Yes. Do you realize that your ex-husband was Not good for you? Yes. Do you realize, that he has left your life? Yes. Do you want to leave this bad experience in the past? Yes, I do.

5. Ask her, to write a new list, in short sentences below each other, what she desires in her present life. I understand you have new man in your life. Could you write a very positive list, what You desire to experience next in your life and relationship and and try it to end the sentences with,.... to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time?

1. I would like to communicate with him on an equal basis. To inform what I observed and ask questions about it, and I shall ask my man to do the same. And to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time.

2. I would like to talk with each other calmly, balanced, with love and positivity, and to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time..

3. I would like to hug him and love him with all my heart and to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us, all the time.

4. I would like to be intimate with him and love him with all my heart, and to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time.

5. I would like to enjoy life with him, to do sometimes nice things, to walk, to go a restaurant and enjoy dinner and to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time.

6. I would like to create a life together with him and visit friends and relatives, or even build our friendship with others further. And to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time.

7. I would like when the relationship works out, to buy together a house, and to live a new life with lots of love, respect and kindness in the relationship, And to keep my thoughts with him, myself and us all the time.

8. Etc. (When necessary help her to construct a good, loving and positive list)

6. I would like you to give this list also to your man and discuss it with him, about your desires about the future together and perhaps you can together complete this list together.

7. I would like you to focus on and repeat the completed list over and over again with lots of positive emotions, every day. Start at first reading it more times a day, intensively and visualize it happening for you already. As long it feels comfortable for you. Love your intentions and love your new ways, and stay with your thoughts with yourself, with your man, your family, your friends, your new life. Keep repeating it, until you feel you don't need it any more. When you are drawn back by one thought into the past. Just take out the paper and read the list again and again, and feel and visualize your desired future.

8. Also I ask you to read these eight points and questions and text over and over again and see the intentions of these Words, leading to a new life expressed in your list of desires.

When this Woman follow these Words, within a couple of weeks or a few months, she has reprogrammed her subconscious thoughts, and is able to lead a normal life again with her new man. It is not necessary to go to a process of the five stages of grief, what takes at least 6 months. Do you really desire to feel 6 months or longer unhappy, if you can be happy much sooner? Life is all about thoughts and choices. Choose well.

We have to learn, that we control our thoughts and ways in life. By formulating and focusing on thoughts, we like to learn and use in life. What we learned in the past becomes our subconscious thoughts and we always act impulsively on them in thoughts and ways. When you do not like your personality or even subconscious thoughts which you act on impulsively. Learn to Think before you Act. By formulating conscious thoughts in the present, that overrules subconscious thoughts and can even change your personality.

Just by choosing at every situation in your life the Right, Good and Loving Choices for Everyone and Nature. To be able to evolve in your human life. To become happy and feeling good all the time, no matter what.

To learn more about Mastering your thoughts and feelings have a look at our lecture, Master thoughts and feelings.

Life is all about thoughts and choices.
Choose well.