Hi Timothy,

You have a really good question, I have read some of the answers others wrote and they were not very helpful. Perhaps, I can help you.

Truthfully I really hope you will read this and work through it and keep it up. First of all realize that you are 21-years old and you are just growing up. You can become anything you desire to be, or even experience everything what you desire to experience. Always do it for the right positive, loving and good reasons, that is good for yourself AND good for all other people on the world AND good for Nature. Then you shall find true happiness.

You have to know that life is simple, it is all about formulating thoughts.

You can formulate positive thoughts which make you feel good and great, OR negative thoughts which makes you feel upset, bad or sad. There are no thoughts in-between.

When I look at what you have written, I see following:

I am a failure - negative thought
I am overweight - negative thought
I have no motivation - negative thought
I am lonely - negative thought
I don’t do anything in life - negative thought

All these negative thoughts can feel to be True and Realistic for you, but let me guess how you feel? eeehm…. bad, very bad, and sad…Isn't that logical? When I would repeat these thoughts over and over again in my thoughts, I would feel bad and sad too.

First realize, that you do something in your life about your situation. You are looking for answers and help. You have realized, that you really desire a Positive change. What is a positive, loving and good thought and a wonderful attitude, which you should embrace.

Secondly, of course you know that a situation can be positive, good and loving, Or negative, bad or sad in your life. But, did you also know, you can still formulate positive, good and loving thoughts about a negative situation or a negative person, and still feel happy, good and great? Most people in their normal lives let a negative, bad or sad situation or person, dictates them unaware, to formulate negative thoughts also. What is absolutely, Neither necessary, Nor desirable, because it is Not good for these persons and Not good for others. which I am going to teach you below. Bear with me, and your perspective, your ideas about life shall change. You shall learn to choose the right, positive and loving thoughts, which creates always a happy and good feeling, no matter what is happening in your life. Wouldn't that be something very valuable for you to learn?

When I would ask you, when everything would be possible in your life, what do you really desire to experience and what changes do you instensively desire to achieve in your life, to become a happy and loving person? Then, you certainly can answer this question with passion and enthusiasm and feels already much better. Because, you look at what you desire to do, what you desire to create, to look at solutions which are positive thoughts. Only, when you create your desires, you know the direction you desire to go in your life.

When you formulate your desire to experience in your future. There are experiences which are easy to achieve and some are more challenging experiences. When you have created a desire, for example, to loose all extra weight and become the person who you desire to be. Then it looks like a mission impossible, because we formulate and focus on negative thoughts about it as in the present situation, I am overweight. What creates an upset and bad or sad feeling and doesn´t help the situation and it doesn´t change anything. When you say, I don´t feel good about myself because I am overweight, I don´t like to be this way, I can´t run fast, people laught at me because of my overweight, etc. These are alll negative thoughts, which make You feel bad and sad and doesn´t lead to your solutions.

Place your desire in your thoughts and focus on it, as an end result. You really love and have fun to image yourself to become this way. So, now and then, you try to see yourself in this situation to have become the person you like to be, in a kind of daydream. And just enjoy it and what could happen in your life then.

When you look at the point where you are now and where you desire to go, it feels bad, because it is such a large step. Right? In our reality, we say, we can never realize this, it is impossible. Again, you formulate negative thoughts. A positive thought is, I can do It. I have to take this challenging experience, as a process, a path for me to divide in little steps in which I move forward to my goal. The importance is not only to enjoy the end result, but to enjoy every little step you achieve in your path to your success and desire. What shall motivate you every little step you take.

We have to make a plan a guidance to achieve your goal. First, you have to find out what is creating this overweight? To much junk food, to much food with fat, cookies, emotional eating, in some cases medicine can create overweight (In this case I would advise to consult a doctor), to less exercise or what ever you find is the cause of your overweight. Then we know the cause of our overweight. We formulate positive thoughts, because we desire to change our future. To change our future we have to change out thoughts and ways.

We can exchange our way of eating, to much or the wrong kind of food, into less eating and the right things of food. Just watch the calories. And make sure it contains also lots of different vegetables and different kinds of fruit. On the internet you find lot's of examples. Make your week into a day by day, menu and start to eat every day healthier. And create your steps you think, it easy to achieve. Create every day into a more healthier situation in your plan, until your reached the Goal. Plan for every day of the week, how much you are going to walk extra, and every day a little further. First you walk slow and then over time you start to walk faster, then you say I start running a little while and exchange it with walking, then I start to run a little further and then so far, etc. But, slowly step by step and every day there is a new achievement to be made, which shall make you feel happy and content. And really realize you have Made this first step, and the second One, etc. So, you fill your life with achievements, success and happiness. Of course, you can have different kinds of exercise and sports. But, take it step by step, and increase every time your achievements unto a higher level. By experience, I know the first changes start to become visual and measurable mostly after 2 or 3 months, and then it goes more rapid. The path is lined out for you, you just have to walk the path. I am sure you are able to do above things and don't feel afraid to ask people for help. To make your plan, to make your eating menu, just ask when you need someone to assist you.

The only thing we didn't explain was emotional eating. Which we are going to explain further. When you feel, upset bad or sad, we like to treat and comfort ourselves with cookies or other stuff. It taste so well, all that sugar. We are able to replace our bad and sad feelings with a seemingly good feeling, by having sugar, hamburgers, or something else we like. So, every time you feel bad or sad, you instantly grab Ice, snacks, cookies, junk food, etc. After a while it becomes compulsive and impulsive, you do not make a choice to do so, but you feel the urge to do so. What is called an addiction.

There is another way. To understand how your emotions are Created. So, when you feel bad or sad, because you formulated negative thoughts, you are also able to Change your negative into positive thoughts. Almost instantly. To feel positive emotions and feel good and create again. Instead of replacing bad and sad feelings, with seemingly good feelings by eating unhealthy stuff. The cause of bad and sad feelings with according negative emotions, is always caused by negative thoughts. By yourself.

First you have to know, that when you have a negative thought, you create automatically a negative emotion and your own bad or sad feelings. As we have shown in the beginning.
When you formulate positive thoughts, you create automatically positive emotions and you will feel good and happy. This is always true! When you feel bad or sad, check your thoughts. By asking yourself, why do I really feel bad and sad? And the negative thoughts shall pop up in your thoughts. You will find negative thoughts, that makes you feel bad or sad. Change them into positive thoughts and you will feel good. I promise. Just try it.

Now, we come back to reality. What is real for you now? The negative thoughts, right? When you want to change your life, you have to accept the position where you are now. Accept who you are, Accept what is going on in your life. Just accept it. It is what it is. We cannot change the past or even our exact present moment, but we can choose our New thoughts and New Ways into our future from this moment on. Now, we look at your future. What do you desire to be real and how do you want to perceive it? Just like we did above in creating your desire for the future.

To see negativity and disharmony in our lives is a good thing, because then we are able to create our desires of positivity and harmony for our future. Still, we have to really Focus on positive, loving and good thoughts about you, your life, your situation, others, Nature and your future. Make Positivity, Love and Goodness your reality. Trust on your ability to make this change happen. Everyone is able to do so, also you. It is just a choice.

When you feel Lonely, say to yourself: I will greet every day persons, I meet and try to have a Little conversation for fun. When others don’t like it. Smile.., or even say I'm sorry, and try again. When they react negatively, think in yourself, let them keep this negative thought and reaction with themselves and I shall Not make it mine. And smile and know you have evolved above them in this aspect in life. After a while, you will encounter the right people you like to meet and have little conversations with. Try to see, when it is time to move on and thank them for the conversation. Start, step by step and see what will happen and how life will enfold. Just try it. See it like a game and have fun. Focus your thoughts all the time on loving all people and consider all people as your friends. If they do Not like to be your friend, it is their problem and don't make it yours. Look at what you can do, what you love to do, what makes you happy and is good for others too and follow this path of love, goodness and positivity. It shall lead you to where you desire to go.

When you look at thoughts what you can't do, do Not like, do not love, do not like, to experience or desire in your future, you shall always feel bad and sad, and it doesn't change anything in your life. Focus on the opposite good, loving and kind thoughts, you can do, how you can reach your goals, what you have, love, like, enjoy and who you are and it shall always leads to solutions. Just try it and see it for yourself.

Look at your life and start to write down, what you really desire to experience. Make the goals visual. And at first, easy for you to reach, and than put the goal a step further away, a little more higher. And try to achieve it. When you fail, smile and try it again. Or try something different by adjusting your goals. Just enjoy every day working at this process to achieve to fulfil your desires in life, which are good for you AND good for others too.

In this whole process; smile, have fun, enjoy, see it as a game. Do you like games? Do you want to win? Win from your negative habits and your negative thoughts? Change your life, as you want it to be. Have fun. Learn to master your thoughts, and you are able to do anything you like and desire in life, with true happiness and love.

Most importantly, make a list of only positive thoughts and desires you have for yourself and your future. Repeat them over and over again, even imagine you will succeed. Do you have difficulties to imagine this? Just take pictures from a magazine, how you like your life to unfold and to look and imagine that body on yourself. And just enjoy the process.

Have fun and keep it positive. Just like a day dream. Keep the first goals simple, and as you go along, make them every time a step harder….keep repeating the positive thoughts. After a while it will become your nature and you will do it without writing it down. But, first take the effort and do the Work. Then you shall create results. Just do it.

This was your list of negative thoughts.

I am a failure - negative thought
I am overweight - negative thought
I have no motivation - negative thought
I am lonely - negative thought
I don’t do anything in life - negative thought

Read them a few times and how do they feel? Yes, bad and sad.

Let's replace above thoughts with positive and loving thoughts and see what we will get.

I am a Wonderful being, with great and kind intentions. - positive thoughts
I desire to lose weight, I see the path and shall work on it. - positive thoughts
I have found motivation in my desires and positive thoughts. - positive thoughts
I know what loneliness is, now I desire to make friends. - positive thoughts
Or being alone, gives me the time to learn something new - positive thoughts
I know enough in my life, to be able to change my life. - positive thoughts
Or I find or ask someone, to show me a good path in life. - positive thoughts

Or you could add to your positive and loving list.
I accept who I am.
I like this and that of myself.
I feel good and happy.
I love myself, others and Nature.
I have good, positive and loving intentions,
I shall change my life, I shall always focus on what I can do.
I know what I want to experience in life and will get there, step by step.
When I need help, I try to find help and shall ask others.
I will be positive about everything, because it attracts also positivity into my life.
etc.

Read these positive thoughts seven times, and you feel much much better. Keep repeating the positive and loving list over and over again, day in and out. And it shall become your thoughts, your perspective at life as your New Personality. Just try it and see it works.

Write your own list of positive thoughts. To help you on the way, I made above list. I promise you, when you start working with your thoughts and yourself this way, you will find a New future and a New you. Just keep it up. YOU CAN DO IT….

Now, you understand how it works, study it, use it, work it out and enjoy the process. Just give it some time. Enjoy every little step, which brings you closer to your goals.

Just have fun in your life again, enjoy the process, enjoy yourself, your contacts, your life. You shall create this desired life, as a human life was meant to be.

Your personality is Not WHO you are,
your personality is WHAT thoughts you are formulating all the time.

When you desire a Change in Yourself or Life, Change your Thoughts and Ways!

Life is all about thoughts and choices,
Choose well.